America is the country that never sleeps! Aside from being very unhealthy this is very unnecessary. To put this problem to rest, we must first attack it at the roots. Why is it that at any given time of day or night, an American walks the streets of some godforsaken town doing whom knows what - anything except sleeping? Does America want to play? Does America have things to do? Rubbish! The people are time wasters and drifters, idly standing still as their world turns, ultimately going nowhere (save, perhaps college) in their "burdened" lives.

So they think they have work to do. I do not care! If they want to play they may do so between the hours of Sunday through Thursday, and at no other times! The people must sleep! Only an imbecile would even think that he or she needed to stay up late at nights. This is a hard fact, with hard proof. I pulled many an all-nighter compiling intensive research on the subject. Witness my bloodshot eyes and current statistical analyses, that I will not reveal, to avow for the fact that I am right!

This is just the beginning, so I shall set up a disclaimer of sorts. These ideas are the web-work of a good system! Therefore they must be implemented with and without the peoples agreement. This is a system of love. The people, regardless of age or knowledge, do not know what it is that they truly need, which is sleep, and only sleep.

Wake up people! A key idea in this plan is to grow up. It is imperative for people to act as responsibly as I act, and to fit all life schedules to my one master outline. To turn dreams into reality and obtain more slumber for all, the entire daily patterns of life must be shifted. It is realized that people may want to even integrate their schedules with one another. This is duly provided for during the hours of Sunday through Thursday. This is perfection! Its only flaw is that there is nothing wrong with it.

The individual is thought of and flexibly dealt with. Everyone in the world may eat anything they wish to eat from my cyclic menu, and at whatever time of day they may choose, conforming to the planned weekday times of 7:30am to 9:30am for breakfast, 11:30am to 1:30pm for lunch, and 4:45pm to 6:30pm for dinner. Oh, the leniency! Voluntary daily tasks may be done at any time, juggled among required tasks, jobs (for grownups), church services (for the pious), or classes (for those of a studious lifestyle).

This, my grand plan, must be monitored for the simple proof of its intricate effectiveness. Hence a requirement that all people congregate at to write their name legibly on a checklist. As for the "work" people have to do, there is allotted time for it starting right after the checklist time, lasting until 9:00pm. At this time I have created a 30-minute optional relaxation time for everyone, so as to allow a getaway from the small chores of the day, whether athletic, academic, or other.

After the recharge of a gracious break, there is a second planned work session time, for those who may not be able to finish a day’s work in one hour. I am too nice! After that gift, there is a second checklist occurrence at 10:30pm. At this time, it is asked that all people remain in their homes. If people live in an apartment or dormitory situation, then they must remain within their respective sectors of the building and remain quiet.

Now for the eye-opener: the people must turn their lighting equipment off by precisely 12:00am and go to sleep. My flexibly rounded guidelines of happiness can and will benefit the health and everything else that is possibly good for everyone. Thus, people may sleep, rather than be awake doing important things so as to avoid failing out of school. I encourage America to nod in agreement to this, my wonder of wonders, my plan to let society repose in an easy, fun, and correct way.

I am not even asking for opinions; my plan is set to begin in the near future, possibly as soon as the autumn of 1999. People will be happy and well energized to do fun things. Everything that runs will run smoothly and with much rest. All shall sleep according to me! I will denounce God and bend Earth, nature, work, and time to my will with my automated timeline and sheer force alone. This will work! All are happy! Sleep begins at 12:00!